welcome to my ~37th attempt at blogging
I suppose it would be traditional to title this "Hello, world!" and while I can appreciate that, I think I'll get direct to the point. This is probably closer to the 15th or so time I've started a blog, be it tumblr, blogspot, wordpress, or some other hosting platform with the intention of writing with some regularity. I sometimes make it to one or two posts, but wind up deleting each blog after not too long.
I'm suspicious of my impulse to blog. I am making great effort to not be chronically online, to wrest back my mind from those who enrich themselves by holding my attention captive for the longest time possible. My psyche should not be colonized and strip-mined to further enrich a bunch of assholes. But I keep wanting to blog. I journal fairly regularly and find the process cathartic and creative and even fun. So why do I keep wanting to blog?
Top three guesses:
- the desire for acclaim - maybe someone will read my words and find me dazzlingly brilliant
- the desire for connection - I really need to get out of the house more and meet some people, tbh
- the desire for something that feels more "official" - something about my words being published where other humans could possibly see them seems more tangible, solid, serious, than my private journaling. It feels like I'm making a more serious statement and more accountable for it due to the possible publicity.
I am going to try, really try, to not delete this blog for at least a year. Let's say Halloween 2025 to Halloween 2026, to experiment with blogging and decide if I like it in actuality, and if not, let go of it in theory. My fantasy self imagines this highly curated blog with a clear focus and aesthetic, but real me makes no promises, whatsoever.
Thanks Herman for Bear blog, I am looking forward to trying it out.